Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize