margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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