the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
