help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
