she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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