the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize