She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
