remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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