Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Randomize
