"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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