I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
