Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
