I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize