see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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