he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
