i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
