They have a pepper shaker for pot.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I came so hard my ears popped.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
