I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
