Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
