just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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