I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
