youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize