There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
my liver is dry heaving
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
