I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
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