Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
