Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize