I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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