ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
