We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
