it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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