dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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