I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Randomize
