Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize