okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
