watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We're not piercing ourselves today.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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