So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
