it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
