She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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