I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
