this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
