i just had sex bonerless
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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