So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
