Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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