At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
