Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
