yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
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