is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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