While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
