Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
