Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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