I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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