I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
