Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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