She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
