booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
