Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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