I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
