Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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