My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
how does that bad decision feel?
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