Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
